Henry the Hoover

Lenny Henry wants the British people to bankrupt themselves, paying reparations they don’t owe. Low Status Opinions 21/10/25 Lenny Henry is a curious figure. A leading member of that chapter of rich, entitled showbiz elites who never tire of guilt tripping non celebrities like us, into opening our wallets to finance their ever growing check list of pet causes.Often extorting sack loads of cash from the simultaneously big hearted and bigoted British public, on the tenuous grounds that one of the BBC’s, yet-to-be-revealed-as-a-pedophile newsreaders has gamely sat in a bath of beans, on live television.I was approached, many years ago, to work on one of these telethons, which is how I had my first indirect brush, withDawn French’s one time otherthirdhalf.I’ll tell you about it if you like.One day I received a call asking if I would be available to do some work for Sir Lenny Henry.Sure I said. Just talk to my agent, and you can discuss dates and rates etc.At the mention of money the call took a turn. Oh no, said my contact, you don’t understand.It’s for charity.And everyone else has agreed to work for free.Well done them, I said, but I don’t generally work for free.But even Lenny is working for free they countered. As a slam dunk.Good for Lenny I said. But let’s be honest, the only time he ever gets on TV these days is when he’s fronting this particular charity. And since, to a fading celeb like Sir Len, anything that keeps him in the public eye is worth more than money, he actuallyisgetting paid.Not in actual cash of course, but in a far more valuable showbiz currency, Fame Pounds.As you can imagine this did not go down very well at all. But now on a roll, I also suggested, that since Lenny Henry was clearly a multi millionaire, he could easily afford to pay me himself, out of his own pocket. So why didn’t he do that?Needless to say the call ended there, and I never heard from that TV charity show again.

But now, years later, Lenny Henry is back! And he’s doing what he does best.Entertaining rooms full of adoring fans with his hilarious jokes. Demanding free money from Britain’s poor, to fund his favourite causes.Though his ambitions have grown exponentially over the last twenty years.Lenny used to be content leeching the odd million or so from the ever generous British public.Now he wants £18 trillion.Which is how much he ‘calculates’, in his exciting new book,The Big Payback, that the same, forever guilty public, owes for the historical sin of, you guessed it, The Transatlantic Slave Trade.£18 trillion!That’s a lot of money.Despite the combined efforts of Gordon Brown, Liz Truss, Boris Johnson, and Rachel Reeves, our entire national debt currently sits at a mere £2.73 trillion.So the figure might seem a little high, but it can easily be justified because, as Lenny helpfully explains.‘all black British people… personally deserve money for the effects of slavery’. [Because] the reason we have racism today and also… why black British people are grossly over-represented in the prison population [is] all because ofthe transatlantic slave trade’.Ok. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it seems that according to Sir Lenny, the one and only, exclusive, and solitary reason we have black people in British prisons in 2025 is the transatlantic slave trade.Which was banned by Britain (Boo! Britain!) in 1807, and in its colonies (Boo! Colonies!) back in 1838.And literally nothing to do with the crimes they committed, were tried for, and convicted of, today.OK.So, just to make sure I get this right.According to comedian Lenny Henry, it seems I am personally culpable for something I literally didn’t do, and my ancestors probably weren’t even involved in, two hundred years ago.But black people are categorically not responsible for the things they have done, and have been proven to have done, yesterday.Riiiiight. Got it.So listen up white Brits, the murder ofKeith Blakelockforty years ago this month. The decapitation ofDrummer Lee Rigbyby Islamist terrorist Michael Adebowale. The crimes of now deceasedgun wielding gangsterinnocent motoristKris Kaba.All your fault.I hope you’re feeling proper ashamed of yourselves.You monsters.Of course Lenny’s outlandish plans would never actually work.Not least because every single white woman in Britain would end up being forced to pay reparations to her own partner.At least I’d assume so. Because according to the adverts on my television, each and every white British woman is currentlyin a happy loving romantic relationship with a super handsome Afro Caribbean man.Don’t get me wrong I’m certainly not against inter racial relationships on any level. Not even slightly. But this does seem a little odd, because while Afro Caribbeans represent just 4% of the British population, they seem to make up approximately 110% of the men starring in this type of TV advertising.Which is in no way even remotely representative. Even on its own terms. After all, forget white people for a moment, more than twice that number,9% of the population, is Asian. So mainly people from India or Pakistan.And yet we seldom see TV shows featuring, for example, young white women engaged in long term sexual relationships with Pakistani men.I mean,not voluntarily anyway.Please Buy Me A Coffee Here! 😇Which gives me an idea. Maybe Rotherham’s grooming gang victims, long ignored, dismissed, and abandonedby their own government, would do better taking a leaf out of Lenny’s inspirational new book.They should forget vainly searching for justice at home, and should instead demand reparations from the government in Islamabad.Still, if Lenny Henry really is demanding a massive transfer of wealth from hard working Englishmen and women to the downtrodden ‘global majority,’ then I have some very good news for him.Because we are already shovelling billions of pounds each year, in that very direction.Racist Britain’s foreign Aid budgetis currently £9bn.Which means that every year our seriously indebted government is borrowing a further £130 on each of our behalf, just so it cansquander it on corrupt foreign governments, rent seekers, back hand deals, bribes, local war lords, inflated salaries, fripperies, Rory Stewart’s wife’s stupid charity, and good old fashioned fraudspend it wisely, helping poor people, usually the helpless victims of Western colonialism, in foreign countries.And of course that figure does not include the £11.6 billion of bigoted bank notes Ed Miliband is shoving out the door each year in ‘Climate Aid’. Whatever that is.Nor the £10bn (£10bn!!!!!) it has just been revealed we are currently coughing up each and every year right here at home, payingUniversal Credit to foreign nationals.So Lenny, if you really want the suicidal British government, to hoover up what is left of our national wealth, so it can splash it about with gay abandon (please insert your own Starmer/Ukrainian youth joke here) on downtrodden foreigners then you are very much in luck.It might not quite add up to £18 trillion just yet, but we’re certainly doing our very best.Look. Don’t get me wrong. I’m no fan of the transatlantic slave trade.In fact I’m naturally averse to anything which begins with the word ‘trans’.Regardless of whether it’s a slave trade, or our progressive classes latest fashionable and fun method ofmutilating children.So I’m pretty sympathetic to the overall narrative. In that spirit, let’s try and put the slave trade, and Britain’s role in it, into some kind of historical perspective.Because while the modern view seems to be that every English person in the seventeen and eighteen hundreds was some kind of rapacious, whip cracking plantation owner, that simply isn’t true.Most British people back thenwere lucky if they owned more than one pair of shoes, let alone another human being.Great Britain didn’t start the transatlantic slave trade. Butwe certainly did more than any other nation to end it.After it was banned by the British government in 1807, the Royal Navy declared war on human trafficking.A war which involved thirty six Royal Navy ships and cost over 2000 British lives.Over the next sixty years Britain spent around 1.8% of GDP a year (just a little less than as our entire modern defence budget) eradicating the trade.Seizing over 1600 slave ships and freeing 150,000 African slaves.I understand that by 1867 these costs had more than cancelled out any profits made by Britain from the slave trade in the previous hundred years. Though to be fair, the actual figures are quite difficult to calculate with any accuracy.You could argue of course that Britain should never have been involved in the slave trade in the first place. And I’d 100% agree with that.But the money we spent, and the blood this nation spilt, attempting to right this wrong, and ultimately bringing this scourge to an end, is of course ignored,dismissed, anddeniedby today’s injustice junkies, the race baiting progressives.Who reject any talk of redemption, and would rather paint the entirety of British history (up to and including twenty minutes ago) as one long carnival of exploitation, oppression, violence, pillage, and bigotry.The whole justification for reparations has been debunked, many times over the years. Not least by historianNigel Biggarin his well reviewed (I haven’t read it yet) new book Reparations. And there’s a thoughtful and balanced overview of the issue from Ed Cummings in the Daily TelegraphhereThese endless demands are hardly a recipe for ‘social cohesion’.After all, what better way to increase distrust and animosity between ‘communities’ than to convince one group that the sole responsibility for their misfortunes lies with their neighbour, and not only that, but that same neighbour owes them a life changing amount of money?Yet the calls for reparations never seem to die. Of course these demands remain the preserve of a diverse, influential, and well enumerated, class of grievance grifters. Mostly working in academia, media, local government, the justice system, the broader public sector, and the increasinglybloated charity industry.So almost all paid, directly or otherwise, from thepublic purse.Let’s remind ourselves that these are the same people who can cook up racial enmity fromboil in the bag rice. Calculate the infinite numberedbigotry of pure maths. And somehow never fail to step in an unpleasant pile of xenophobia while rambling through theEnglish countryside.The same malcontents who have so little regard for this nation’s sovereignty they would eagerly surrender it forever, just to save themselves a few minutes at aFrench airport.And I can’t help feeling that Lenny Henry’s nonsensical demands are simply designed to feed into the self loathing of this hair shirt wearing, Union Jack disdaining, keffiyeh cos-playing, elite.Identified nearly a hundred years ago by George Orwell when he wrote‘England is perhaps the only great country whose intellectuals are ashamed of their own nationality’And sure, as far as I’m concerned, these self flagellating goons, gullible swallowers of every lunatic racial grift from ‘white privilege,’ to ‘cultural appropriation,’ are welcome to hate themselves, their culture, and their country, all day long.Just please, don’t send the rest of us the invoice.While I’m sure he is sincere in his passion for ‘racial justice’, Lenny Henry’s new book might be best appreciated as thecri de mortof an increasingly irrelevant celebrity, a desperate attempt to stay in the limelight. To stay relevant.To get on telly. And to earn a few, final Fame Pounds.And that really is a shame.Because Lenny Henry was once a properly brilliant comedian, a genuine groundbreaker, and role model for an entire generation of black Britons.Back when he was at the very peak of his comedic powers.PlayingTrevor McDoughnut on TISWAS.*****************************************************************