Labour’s gone from bigot to barmy in 24 hours

Andrew Gwynne’s replacement believes people can self-identify as llamas – I’m told she’s already requested straw bedding in her office

Daily Telegraph 

Link

Is nothing sacred?! WhatsApp is meant to be as private as the confessional, but the leaking of Andrew Gwynne’s messages – racist, sexist, what we used to call “light entertainment” – triggered a knee-jerk sacking by the PM.

In one missive, Mr Gwynne hoped that an elderly constituent would die before the next election. In some Labour areas, of course, that wouldn’t disqualify her from voting. Gwynne is replaced by Ashley Dalton, who is on record saying people should be able to self-identify as a llama if they so wish.

Labour’s gone from bigot to barmy in 24 hours.

No wonder so many backbenchers looked nervous come Monday morning, doubly so after Oliver Ryan also lost the whip over his outrageous WhatsApping (face of a cherub, but he’s no angel). The only person in Westminster who appears unafraid is Ms Dalton, who, I’m told, has asked for her office to be moved to a higher location and bedded with straw.

A civil servant describes the new minister as “gentle and calm, though if agitated, she will sit down and refuse to move”.

If you think that’s mad, wait till you hear about government policy... Michael Shanks, an energy minister whose hair is coming out in bundles, was at the despatch box for both an urgent question and a statement: the first on winding down the oil and gas industry in the North Sea, the latter on importing wood chips to burn for energy.

Shanks, a former teacher, is bright and appealing, yet couldn’t see the connection between these two things – that in trying to be cleaner domestically, the UK is importing filthy fuel to plug the inevitable gaps.

The discussion is irrelevant, teased Tory MPs: whatever Shanks says will be overruled by the Treasury. Indeed, the Government is increasingly torn between Rachel Reeves – “grow the economy or be exterminated” – and Ed Miliband, who self-identifies as a windmill and is holding the line on Labour’s last remaining progressive cause, net zero.

In the absence of a Tory opposition (sorry Kemi), the Left is opposing itself.

A Labour MP has condemned the Chagos deal. A Labour peer has called for the Attorney General to resign. Reeves wants Miliband’s head and Pat McFadden, currently in charge of the Cabinet Office, wants Reeves’s job. The PM stayed above the fray by publicly taking an HIV test in No10. Heaven knows why, but it would’ve added some rare colour to his leadership had it turned out positive.

Shanks plowed on in the Commons, supported warmly by Pippa Heylings, Lib Dem spokesperson on Energy Insecurity and Net Weirdo, who appeared to be auditioning for a future role in a Lib-Lab coalition.

Then came this, typical of Labour backbenchers desperate for a job: “Can I commend the minister for a measured and pragmatic approach?” asked Tom Hayes of Bournemouth East, and I noticed several MPs dashing off WhatsApps that probably read “crawler”, “sucker” or “Can I lick yer boots, sir?”

The discussion was punctuated by a scream in the lobby. Ms Dalton, startled by an aide, had spat on her.